Face to Face

When was the last time you felt like this? This? What is this? Let me make it easier for you!
When was the first time you felt this? This question is harder than the first one, am I right? I look at her, but I can't see her! I listen to her, but I can't hear her! I touch her, but I can't feel her! It's like we're worlds apart! But we're one step away...one step closer! Her hair covers her face now, but the next second is short and stands still in the face of the blowing wind! She looks at me and I look at her! But all I see are memories...Old memories...Too old...so old that I ain't sure anymore that these memories are mine! But they are...And they're so old that the past seems future when I think at them...And her eyes, are so clear that I afraid that I'll drown if I'll dare to search for my past there! I'm afraid that all my wounds will open again...I'm afraid of what it could mean for me...But she dares to look into my eyes...A tear, a tear of blood, a tear of anger comes from my soul to my eyes and drops to the floor...She drifts away from me! I wake up! I'm looking at a picture of her! I was daydreaming! She's right beside me, laughing over something...We're so close, but still so far away...One infinite second close and away the same time! I smile to her and say goodbye! My soul bleeds but...Maybe the next life, if there will be such a thing, maybe the next millenium, we will be together again! Who knows? Only time!
But here I go again! It's like a never ending cycle! As my past closes under the fire eyes, the present prepares the way for a fogged future! The time of redemption is here...The rulers have changed, the rules are harder to obey...and those who can't hack it are in for a long sleep! My soul still bleeds, and every little tear of blood causes a change around me! I see an image around me, with characters, colours, sounds and all that it takes for a memory! But another tear reaches the ground and the things around me break into thousands of tiny little pieces! But they rearrange and form another image, another memory! And it's all back, like nothing ever happened! And the tears go on! I reach out with my hand and catch a tear in my palm...It's strange...The tear burns, the tear is cold, the tear pierces through my hand...And it goes down from the first hand as I reach out with my other hand...I caught the tear and, ignoring the pain, I put it into my mouth...I felt strange, I felt how my mind blows! All of my memories came to life and started swinging around me! My body feels like something on it's last seconds, a thing that flourishes for one second and dies in the next one! I feel that I'm leaving the body, knowing that my soul belongs somewhere else...Where? Only one person knows that, and that person ain't me...I feel so much...But I'm so poor in words, that poor that sometimes i think that even a child knows more than I do! I've got memories that aren't mine, images that show places where I've never been, people I've never seen but seem to have no secrets from me. But where are these memories from? A past life, a future one,if there were will be such things, or from this life that never stops to amaze me? I wish she was here! I wish I could stop all this...I want to talk to somebody, but I've got nobody to talk to...I wish that the ground would open and take me in, burying my pain with me! I'm walking away, but I seem closer to my destiny with every little step that I make! "Pas de regrets"...Too bad that doesn't really work for me! "One of us is crying, one of us is laying in a lonely room"...But today I'm one of us...Today I'm face to face with myself, face to face with my destiny, face to face with her! And I'm drowning in her eyes...in her crystal clear eyes...